that photograph that haunts me
so many words
  locked up
  hidden away
  left behind
so many things
  i want to tell you
  scream out
  forget about
but i don't have to say anything!
i can let it all go.
we can pretend nothing ever happened...
     ...i know how to forget now.
you've always been forgiven
   -even before you did me wrong.
to day i didn't expect anything, see it coming...
all your lies can be forgotten, forgiven.
i can pretend i never heard them, they're gone, done with, clean slate.
the past can shatter
                     f l y     a w a y
like a million lost lit fireflies
hiding - dying away - through the winter.
if just once when i needed you
i wouldn't be afraid to call, ask, beg for your help.
wouldn't fear your look, your attitude, your mask.
afraid you'd act like you didn't know me, hated me
                    act like you can't remember who i was to you before...

i lied, i can't hold it all - just one secret needs to be told -
FORGET, FORGIVE, GO AHEAD AND PRETEND IT WAS ALL MY FAULT!
just talk to me like nothing's happened so i know and can say 'ello' again.

"it won't hurt in no time at all - you'll see"
but they're wrong
      HORRIBLY WRONG
they lied!
it's been an eternity and i still miss you.

HOW CAN YOU JUST WALK BY?
do you still have to pretend not to see me?
why can't you JUST SAY HELLO?




(november 2002)